"Are you giving up on Me?"

Have been contemplating about writing this for a few days. So yeah, decided to write it out to be an encouragement for people who are starting to lose faith.

I have been praying for a matter for over a year, and I personally believe that He has given me a lot of evidences from the bible verses, sermons and through dreams by saying that He's going to make this matter possible. And yet, in reality, nothing has happened. I was a bit discouraged by that. I thought to myself, probably I have misunderstood God; probably, God meant something else; probably, it's just my feeling that this is going to happen bla bla bla

A few nights ago, I laid down on bed, praying as usual before bedtime, telling and asking God if I can give up, and I stated all the reasons thinking I have all the right reasons to give up. When I was praying (not praying in silent, I have voice coming out from my mouth), then a voice asked me in Mandarin (I was praying in Mandarin, by the way), "妳是在放棄我嗎(Are you giving up on ME)?" And I was like stunned, and shocked. I couldn't continue praying anymore because this question really strikes me!

That voice sounded that the Holy Spirit is hurt, upset, and discouraged. I thought my giving up is only on that matter, and that was my only intention: to not think about that matter, but then only the Holy Spirit searches for hearts, and He knows what I think. He knows that I don't mean surrender, I meant give up, as in totally I want to ignore that matter, and just let it be.

But when He asked that question, I realised that I cannot give up just like that, because there is a spiritual war that is being fought for in the spiritual realm whenever every Chritians prayed(Reference: Daniel 10:12-14). And I believed that when God asked me that question, He wanted me to know that He is in the progress of answering my prayer, but then when I told Him that I wanted to give up, He wouldn't be able to do anymore. That was why He sounded upset and hurt. After that, I made up to Him and told Him that I will continue to pray abt that matter until it is achieved. Even though sometimes I still have doubt, I prayed that He will take away all my doubts and that I can persist until that matter is achieved.

For my dear brothers and sisters out there, probably you are like me, prayed and thought that matter was unheard by God. But I just have to say, keep pressing in, persist, and proclaim that God's promises never fail!

After this incidence, I came up with a quote(remember to cite me ok ok? =P):

If you give up, you are actually giving up on God

God is so good!

Tonite, after prayer meeting. Got a text from Mindy asking if I can play for her at next Wednesday's prayer meeting coz she will be outstationed.
I was a bit reluctant, coz have an assignment to hand in on Sunday, and it's about designing an advertisement on how to promote a childcare centre, esp. with the topics of quality environments....anyways, I said 'yes' because I'm missing the serving life even though I only haven't been playing for 2 weeks, and I miss playing the piano. Then, I texted her back and tell her she has to pray for me to have thoughts coming in for the advert. assignment.

After that, I went and check my email, and got a mail from the lecturer saying that it's postponed to next Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!! Coz she has totally forgotten about that assignment, and she has been away. I'm like.........whoa!!!!!!! Praise God!!!!!!!!!!!

Like what I've written last year in March after an incident in prayer meeting (in my diary), when we are with God, we're like in a big theme park of God, we get adrenalin pumps and excitement and everything; we don't know what next step will be, and where we will be, but then, we will landed safe in the hands of God. He's just amazing~~~

I'm just fascinated by Him!
and thoroughly in love with Him!!!!!!!!

Need to be alert

It's funny how sometimes
when we handed in everything to God
we'll be tempted straightaway!

And how the spiritual warfare is so real and is happening
just around you and your friends every minute and every second.

Be alert people!
no matter what the world says,
it is what God said that is powerful.
When everything seems to be going down the wrong path,
remember these verse:
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Even we are faithless
God is faithful

The road of faith (2)

I realised,
the road of faith is really difficult to walk
if my eyes are not on Him
but on this earthly things
I will fall.
And it doesn't mean that after listening to a sermon
I will suddenly become a person with a lot of faith.

He is a good God
during my meditation time this morning
He gave me the verses in Psalms 81:1-4

Sing for joy to God our strength;
Shout aloud to the God of Jacob!
Begin the music, strike the tambourine, play the melodious harp and lyre.
Sound the horn at the New Moon, and when the moon is full, on the day of our Feast;
this is a decree for Israel, an ordinance of the God of Jacob. (Psalms 81:1-4)

I find this hard
but God said that's a decree and an ordinance
even during the hard times.
Then He reminded me of King Jehosaphat (2 Chronicles 20)
who seek the will of God
and set up the worship team back then
to sing and praise God
during the fighting of God's army and the army of Moabites, Ammonites and some Meunites.
When they sing and praise, the God set ambushes against the enemy.

Teach me Father, to praise You
and to trust You
All the time!
Because of who You are.
In Jesus' name,
Amen!

12/4/09 Baptism

Before baptising: David, Benjamin, Jean, Holly


After baptising. Me and the Yee's siblings (Jean and Benjamin)

Holly & me

4 of my youth group members have baptised on this special day!! =)

May God continue to lead them in lives and they will love and know God more!

可以放手, 但不能放棄

被放棄, 是一件很殘忍的事情.

去年, 有些年輕人的作為
讓我看到或者聽到了以後
我也曾經想要放棄他們不管了
我也覺得自己的擔心是多餘的
好幾晚都睡不好

但是, 在禱告中
上帝提醒我說
"不要以為你比別人好.難道你年少的時候沒犯過錯嗎?
我有放棄過你嗎?你該給他們一個成長空間,讓他們從錯誤中學習."
我馬上跟神說對不起. 因為我得救, 不是靠著自己的行為,而是神的恩典為我完成了救恩.

在神國里, 如果有放棄這兩個字
我想,我們都完了
祂對我們的愛, 正是祂要我們學習的榜樣,不是嗎?
只有這樣
我們才能為祂贏得更多的靈魂.

加油!
一起學習放手, 但是不能放棄的功課吧!

=)

＝）

For these past few days I was so excited

because God has said that He will do it for me and the obstacles will all be removed to prepare the way for his people!!!

And He also said that He will prepare watchmen for me

and pray day and night without rest, and let Him has no rest as well......=) When I see these verses in Isaiah, I really laughed out and said to God "I'm so going to pray until You got frustrated of me!!"

So yeah, for all those of you

who are praying and seeking His will, pray earnestly and keep knocking at His door

He will answer your prayers

But whatever the outcome is,

He is sovereign and He loves and treasures you

in His heart!

photo from: http://media.photobucket.com/image/Jesus%20loves%20you%20and%20me/zeehines/Pictures/window.jpg

信心之路 The road of faith

今天姜鵬哥分享的信息很棒!
Jiang Peng's sermon was awesome today!
他說他很緊張,我卻覺得對於第一次講道的他來說真的好棒!
He said he was nervous, but for a person that is preaching for the first time, I think he did well!

他說的,也正是我昨天在禱告中
跟上帝尋求的
我跟神說
我對你很有信心,可是我像是在大海中游泳
看不到一個海島或一個浮體讓我確實的抓在手裡
當別人問我的時候
我沒辦法確實的說:這是上帝跟我說的, 就是會這樣成就.
我只能相信祂會成就
甚麼時候，我不知道
怎樣成就，我更不知道
我只知道我會游到岸就是了


因為我發現, 別人對我說不可能的時候
我只能生氣
與其說生其他人的氣,其實更多的是生自己和上帝的氣
氣上帝為甚麼不直接將事情成就了
而故意延後讓我和旁邊的人都在猜測.

姜鵬哥今天的信息直接就進入了我的心里
我覺得上帝透過他告訴了我很多...

1.亞伯拉罕之所以能被稱為'信心之父'也是經過上帝的磨練.
他也曾經自己在聽到上帝的聲音以後, 用人為的方法去解決事情
結果搞了一堆麻煩事情,讓上帝幫他"檫屁股"(e.g.在埃及,欺騙法老說撒拉是他的妹妹; 跟夏甲同房懷的孩子以為就是上帝所允許要給他的兒子,結果不是以實馬力,而是在他100歲時才生的以撒才是神應許他的後裔).
- 不能自己去解決上帝已經應許的事情.如果祂說"相信祂", 就相信祂

2.跟神建立關係
很多時候, 我們尋求太多人的意見, 而非上帝的意見, 導致上帝放在我們心里的聲音有點模糊掉了.我覺得,這是我要學的功課: 當我在給別人意見的時候,一定要好好為那個人的事情禱告,要不然就不要照著自己的想法給意見. 當我尋求意見的時候, 學習分辨哪些是從主來的話語.Last but not the least,好好禱告,跟神建立好的關係 - 祂一定樂意把事情的奧妙顯示給我們知道.
如經上所記: 上帝為愛祂的人所預備的是眼睛未曾看見,耳朵未曾聽見,人心也未曾想到的.只有上帝藉著聖靈向我們顯明了,因為聖靈參透萬事,就是上帝深奧的事也參透了. 除了在人里頭的靈,誰知道人的事?像這樣,除了上帝的靈, 也沒有人知道上帝的事(林前2:9-11).

3.獻上自己所愛
這個.........超級難!!!!亞伯拉罕一聽到上帝說,"把以撒獻給我為燔祭"的時候, 他一定覺得這個上帝是個出爾反爾的上帝.不是要應許成為多國之父,還後裔如天上的星星,地上的沙那麼多嗎?但是亞伯拉罕還是聽從了上帝的話...
我覺得這部分對我來說超級超級超級困難...我連把我所愛的帶去給上帝都已經很困難了..還要我親手拿刀一刀刺下去...T_T....但是但是, 真的只有獻上的時候才會真正經歷神的信實和預備超過我們所求所想.

這篇文章不是姜鵬哥完全的信息...更多是自己的感想 =)
我已經知道上帝給我的回應是甚麼了 =D

好興奮~~

哈哈..我帶的preteens group
有四位要上受洗班!!
希望他們年級小小就是與眾不同的
也在他們的學校影響其他的朋友

haha! The preteens group that I'm leading now
4 of them wanted to be baptised this coming Easter!
Praying that these 4 will be the outstanding ones among their peers
and be an inspiration to other people.

I miss God

These few days, I haven't really had a good time with God
although I tried hard to
but I always rush my time with Him
or either totally ignore Him...sigh

Have to really make up my time for Him.....=)

Spiritual Loneliness

every Christian in their walks of life

will face a time when they've to walk some of the journey alone

and no one around can seemed to understand

Even Jesus and Joseph faced that type of loneliness......

He came out and went, as was his custom, to the Mount of Olives; and the disciples followed him. When he reached the place, he said to them, "Pray that you not come into the time of trial." Then he withdrew from them about a stone's throw, kelt down, and prayed, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me; yet, not my will but yours be done." [Then an angel from heaven appeared to him and gave him strength. In his anguish he prayed more earnest,y, and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down on the ground.] When he got up from prayer, he came to the disciples and found them sleeping because of grief, and he said to them, "Why are you sleeping? Get up and pray that you many not come into the time of trial." - Luke 22:39-46

Once Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more. He said to them, "Listen to this dream that I dreamed. There we were, binding sheaves in the field. Suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright; then your sheaves gathered around it, and bowed down to my sheaf." His brothers said to him, "Are you indeed to reign over us? Are you indeed to have dominion over us?" So they hated him even more because of his dreams and his words. He had another dream, and told it to his brothers, saying , "Look, I have had another dream: the sun, the moon, and eleven stars were bowing down to me," But when he told it to his father and to his brothers, his father rebuked him, and said to him, "What kind of drea is this that you have had? Shall we indeed come, I and your mother and your brothers, and bow to the ground before you?" So his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind. -Genesis 37:5-11

Only God has the answers to all the questions...

Keep trusting....

You never know what your journey is filled with when God is being 'mischievious'

yes, He is......

I can see Him laughing.....=)

Graces Upon the way

Yup, so I have been in Wellington with Pastor and his wife for 4 days 3 nights, to help out a Chinese fellowship in Lower Hutt. I'm only a pianist down there to help Pastor....but I just have to conclude this mission trip with a sentence: serving God is really really awesome!!!!!!!

It has really been a lot of graces during this trip.

On the day of departure, my sis rang from Wellington and said the weather was really lousy down there, and she would just pick us up, have lunch, n drop us down at the meeting place. And, I brought a coat, coz I thought it would be really windy down there.....but then when we arrived, it was sunny!!!!! and no wind!!!!!!!!! That lasted the whole trip.....so, tat coat was totally a waste = =

And then, I got Christmas presents and nice food from them, and a nice bungalow to stay during our last nite there too....which was a totally surprise! I mean, I was down there to serve, and in the end we were being served as well. I love that bungalow that we were in, the garden is juz magnificent, and it's like we were on a retreat....I'll definitely post the photos up when I have them. This house is like built on a mountain, and the garage is down at the bottom, and we have to walk all the way up to the house...and along the way, the flowers were so pretty! And Uncle Rodger build the deck and layered them, and Aunty Nancy planted the flowers....I felt like I was in the heaven. How I wish my hayfever is totally healed! But, my nose behaved well this morning when Uncle Rodger asked me to go walk around the garden before breakfast is ready, haha! It didn't sneeze....I only felt that my eyes were itchy, that's all.

And when we got to Wellington Airport, we were invited to the Koru Club (which is the vip area) for complimentary food and drink....coz today is the first day launching of self check-in system in Wellington airport! First time ever in the vip lounge =) Then, pastor said to me, 'honour God, and God will honour you too'!

Last, but not the least, my dear lil sis brought me to try out all these nice food in Wellington and window shopping around the city. Loved the time we spent together, and OMG, and the jokes.....she's really the clown in the family!

This trip was awesome!!

You crown the year with your bounty;

your wagon tracks overflow with richness.

The pastures of the wilderness overflow,

the hills gird themselves with joy,

the meadows clothe themselves with flocks,

the valleys deck themselves with grain,

they shout and sing together the joy.

Psalm 65:11-13