"Are you giving up on Me?"

Have been contemplating about writing this for a few days. So yeah, decided to write it out to be an encouragement for people who are starting to lose faith.

I have been praying for a matter for over a year, and I personally believe that He has given me a lot of evidences from the bible verses, sermons and through dreams by saying that He's going to make this matter possible. And yet, in reality, nothing has happened. I was a bit discouraged by that. I thought to myself, probably I have misunderstood God; probably, God meant something else; probably, it's just my feeling that this is going to happen bla bla bla

A few nights ago, I laid down on bed, praying as usual before bedtime, telling and asking God if I can give up, and I stated all the reasons thinking I have all the right reasons to give up. When I was praying (not praying in silent, I have voice coming out from my mouth), then a voice asked me in Mandarin (I was praying in Mandarin, by the way), "妳是在放棄我嗎(Are you giving up on ME)?" And I was like stunned, and shocked. I couldn't continue praying anymore because this question really strikes me!

That voice sounded that the Holy Spirit is hurt, upset, and discouraged. I thought my giving up is only on that matter, and that was my only intention: to not think about that matter, but then only the Holy Spirit searches for hearts, and He knows what I think. He knows that I don't mean surrender, I meant give up, as in totally I want to ignore that matter, and just let it be.

But when He asked that question, I realised that I cannot give up just like that, because there is a spiritual war that is being fought for in the spiritual realm whenever every Chritians prayed(Reference: Daniel 10:12-14). And I believed that when God asked me that question, He wanted me to know that He is in the progress of answering my prayer, but then when I told Him that I wanted to give up, He wouldn't be able to do anymore. That was why He sounded upset and hurt. After that, I made up to Him and told Him that I will continue to pray abt that matter until it is achieved. Even though sometimes I still have doubt, I prayed that He will take away all my doubts and that I can persist until that matter is achieved.

For my dear brothers and sisters out there, probably you are like me, prayed and thought that matter was unheard by God. But I just have to say, keep pressing in, persist, and proclaim that God's promises never fail!

After this incidence, I came up with a quote(remember to cite me ok ok? =P):

If you give up, you are actually giving up on God

I'm spoilt to the core ^^

Two weeks ago, Uncle John has been wanting to cooke me Hainanese Chicken Rice. Everytime he sees me, he would say, "Xia, I cook chicken rice for you ya", lol
but then due to some reason, we can't go over last Monday. And then on Saturday, tidak jadi lagi (oops, excuse me, it means "it didn't happen again")
Then, last Sunday evening, we finally had our chicken rice! And Saratok ikan masin (Saratok salted fish), which according to Uncle, Saratok has the best salted fish.And also home-brewed beer by Uncle John. I only had 2 small glasses, not enough!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha

will post the photos up later


I miss M'sia food.............................and friends......T_T

We are the Shepherds ^^

During my meditation time with God, He gave me these verses which convicted and reminded me of my ministry.
靈修的時候，上帝給了我一段經文，讓我為自己也為我所服事的羊群警醒禱告。

"Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood. I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them. So be on your guard! Remember that for three years I never stopped warning each of you night and day with tears." (Acts 20:28-31)
聖靈立你們作全群的監督，你們就當為自己謹慎，也為全群謹慎，牧養神的教會，就是他用自己血所買來的（或作‘救贖’的）。我知道我去后，必有兇暴的豺狼進入你們中間，不愛惜羊群。就是你們中間，也必有人起來，說悖謬的話，要引誘門徒跟從他們。所以你們應當警醒，紀念我三年之久晝夜不住地流淚，勸誡你們各人。（使徒行傳20：28-31）

These verses reminded me the importance of my ministry that I am a shepherd that is appointed by God to watch out for myself and the youths, especially in their spiritual life. And just like Nehemiah and his people, when they were building the walls of Jerusalem, they had their weapons with them even when they went to get water (Nehemiah 4: 15-21). Nehemiah and his people's watchfulness have reminded me to be alert ALWAYS.
這些經文提醒了我，原來是神力我作這一群孩子的監督，不管是他們的行爲，甚至他們的靈命，我們也要在那一天，在神的面前交帳. 這幾節的經文也讓我想到舊約的尼希米和所有的猶太人在建造耶路撒冷城牆的時候，他們連去打水都帶著兵器(尼希米記：4：15-21）。他和他百姓的謹慎的態度提醒了我，不論什麽時候都要警醒。

I hope these verses have given some lights to everyone that is in the ministry like me, no matter where you are. For those who are in Youth/Teenage Ministry, I am thankful to have peers that can share the experiences with me through your blogs, especially to those that are in Miri...you all know who you are! =) Let us just keep praying for each other, and till the time we meet, may the favour of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us .
我希望不論你在哪裏，這些經文也帶給所有服事的人一些亮光。我很感恩因爲我有一群很棒的同工分享他們在帶領青少年的經歷，尤其是在美里的弟兄姐妹們....你們知道你們是誰！=）希望我們經常為對方禱告，直到我們在見面的日子,願神監立我們手所作的工.

Raglan Trip

星期天，聚會完后我們幾個一起在“新天地”吃了午餐

張銘提議我們該出去走走

於是大家就（除了我）回去換衣服了或者拿相機。

開了45分鐘的車（windy road, and I felt dizzy all the way)

終于抵達了Bridal Falls

顧名思義，你們看那瀑布有沒有像新娘的頭紗?很美吧~~~~

不過我差點就不能從這個地方出來了哈哈！
秘密！

Anyways,然後我們也去了海邊....

我最愛的地方哈哈！

Captivating

Book reviewed written in Sept 22, 2007

謝謝Jennifer的介紹這是一本很棒的書﹐棒到我希望可以買給所有我認識的姐妹們說到了神如何在造女人的時候把祂的形像放在我們裡面而撒旦又為什麼一直的要攻擊女人也說到了我們可以怎樣的回到神的裡面從新的找到祂當初創造我們的時候所給我們的一個公主的身份。And because beauty is the essence of God, that's why we long for beauty too.

Some excerpts from the book:

I don't think I'm alone in this. Have you ever wondered why the Cinderella story keeps haunting us? Not only is it a perennial favourite of little girls; women love it too. Think of all the movies made along its themes, moves like Pretty Women and Ever After and A Cinderella Story and Maid in Manhattan. Why is this notion of a hidden princess (and a prince who comes ot find her) so enduring? Is there something in our hearts that is trying to speak to us? Is it just fantasy, excapism? Or is there something more?

The desire of a woman's heart and the realities of a woman's life seem an ocean aprt. Oh, we long for romance and an irreplaceable role in a great story; we long for beauty. But that's not the life we have. The result is a sense of shame. Having listened to the hearts of women for many, many years, both in the context of friendship and in the counseling office, we are struck by how deeply and universally wmen struggle with their self-worth. "I feel like a house hold appliance," one woman confessed to us. Now, this is not to say that men don't also wrestle with their sense of worth. But there is something deeper to this struggle for women, and far more universal. And there are reasons for it, reasons unique to Eve and her daughters.

............

............

The story of Eve holds such rich treasures for us to discover. The essence and purpose of a woman is unveiled here in the story of her creation. These profound, eternal, mythic themes are written not just here in the coming of Eve, but in the soul of every woman after. Woman is the crown of creation - the most intricate, dazzling creature on earth. She has a crucial role to play, a destiny of her own.And she, too, bears the image of God, but in a way that only the feminine can speak. What can we learn from her? God wanted to reveal something about himself, so he gave us Eve. When you are with a woman, ask yourself, what is she telling me about God? It will open up wonders for you.

First, you'll discover that God is relational to his core, that he has a heart for romance. Second, that he longs to share adventures with us - adventures you cannot accomplish without him. And finally, that God has a beauty to unveil. A beauty that is captivating and powerfully redemptive.

有興趣的就去買來看吧我自己反正是受益良多在看這本書的時候﹐聖靈在我身上的工作還滿多的希望你們看了之後也都有很大的得著﹗

Who is your God?

Who is your God?

Who is your God?

Seriously I'm asking this question...

You've been a Christian for such a long time

but the throne of life doesn't belong to Him

but to yourself

You handle things your ways

instead of His ways

You don't think He's big enough to cover all your worries

You think if you can't handle it, He can't handle it too

That's why God has never done anything big in your life

coz you limited Him!!

"August Rush"

My lil sis, Ruth rented this dvd the other day! And I just love it to the core! Haha, men that play guitar just attracts me =P

I love some of the quotes from this movie:

Sometimes the world tries ot knock it out of you. But I believe in music the way that some people believe in fairy tales. I like to imagine that what I hear came from my mother and father. Maybe the notes I hear, are the same ones they heard, the night they met. Maybe that's how they found each other. Maybe that's how they'll find me. I believe that once upon a time, long ago, they heard the music and followed it.

Listen. Can you hear it? The music. I can hear it everywhere. In the wind... in the air... in the light. It's all around us. All you have to do is open yourself up. All you have to do... is listen.

You never quit on your music. No matter what happens. Cuz anytime something bad happens to you, that's the one place you can escape to and just let it go. I learned it the hard way. And anyway, look at me. Nothing bad's gonna happen. You gotta have a little faith.

What do you want to be in the world? I mean the whole world. What do you want to be? Close your eyes and think about that.

Somewhere along the way

Somewhere along the way...
I dropped my faith
And then I went back
and picked it up again

I will keep it safe
where there is no person
no matters, or objects
that can take my faith away again

Appointment in Jerusalem

I finished this book during my two days of lying in bed. When I started reading it, I just couldn't resist it. This is a good book for new Christians as Lydia explained how she met God when she earnestly seek Him. God also showed her the purpose of her life and lead her to Jerusalem with where she started children's home. She left her prominent Job in Denmark, and arrived Jerusalem penniless, but God is faithful and provide her all the while she's there.

During my read, I felt the excitement, the fear, the nervousness that she have experienced, and yes, get this book if you want to know more about God. I'm sure I would read it again and again!

Also, from this book, I only realised that actually we Christians owed big time to Jerusalem. I'll quote the page from this book on what she has said when she experienced the siege between the Muslims and the Jews, and when she meditated on the Bible, the verses of Isaiah 62:6-7.

...Searching out God's purpose for Jerusalem led me on naturally to His purpose for Israel.The two, I discovered, were intertwined and could not be separated. The very prophecies that promised mercy and restoration to Jerusalem promised the same also to Israel. The first could not be fulfilled apart from the second.

And how many promises of restoration for Israel I found! From first to last, the prophetic writings were full of them. How far, I wondered, had these promises already been fulfilled? In the decade since the war of 1914-1918, a steady trickle of Jews had been coming back to their land. But - if I rightly understood what I was reading - this was but a prelude to something far greater. God had actually committed Himself, through His prophets, to regather them as an independent nation in their own land. To this end, He had declared, He would bend all the forces of history....."What a strangely warped view we Christians have had all these years," I finally said to myself. "We have acted as though we were sufficient in ourselves, owing nothing to Israel or Jerusalem and needing nothing from them. And yet the truth is that God's plan of peace and blessing for all nations can never come to completion until both Israel and Jerusalem are restored - and He expects us to be His cowokers in bringing this to pass."

This part of the book has opened my eyes up, that we as Christians should pray hard for the peace and the people in the Palestine area, if it's not for this nation (the Jews), we wouldn't have got save and become Christians. If this part of the world has no peace, then there would be no peace at the other part of the world. This place seems small, and not an eye-catching place, yet it has its unseen forces that can destroy the whole world.

This is only my own understanding for this part that she wrote, and I hope all who has read this article, you would go borrow or buy this book. It really worths a read!

Recently...

Finished my practicum last Tuesday, and I love the place and the children. The teachers were great too! They've accepted me as part of their own, except the regulations where they can't do much about it.

Adding bonus to it, there are a few teachers that I came to know are Christians! One even went to Peru to do mission work with the children. I think God must have used her to talk to me while in that practicum that one day I will go to the mission field and do the work of children. She experienced a lot of God's provision during that period, and listening to her story was just amazing!

And and, at the last day of my prac, they provided nice morning tea for me ^^, a certificate, and a storybook (for future teaching use).

A dream

2 nites ago, I dreamt that I was back in high school years, and I didn't do my homework! I felt so strange, why on earth would I have forgotten all about my homework, and I could only apologise to my teacher that it must have slipped my mind.

Then, the scenery changed again. I dreamt that I had a black teacher teaching me, and she asked the whole class to open up the bible to 2 Timothy 2:22, and then I woke up! The next day, I got the bible and turn to the page thinking God must have wanted to tell me something that is important. And truly it is....It says:

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

I actually didn't know why is it this verse that God gave me, because I was asking Him about other stuff. Probably He knows all my inner thoughts that have been there for a long time, and wants me to deal with them...