Hard to let go

It's hard hard hard hard hard to let go!

Easier to said than done!

After sending a friend home last night, I can't help but let my tears down while driving home

I felt extremely...............disappointed that I couldn't keep my promise - that I want to give him up for God, but then I still hold him back to myself. I want to let go and let God dwell in this matter, but I find it tough tough tough! So, my tears just kept running down......

Then, a still small voice said to me, "My dear girl, trust me! Let me handle this thing. All you have to do is to trust me. I've told you that I'm not limited by experience" That makes me tearing up even more coz I know deep down I never trusted Him. When things seemed to go slow or not going my way, I want to step out and get back my precious 'fake' pearl that I've handed in; I want to make things right in my own way. There are even times that I think God is nuts, and He is probably too old to deal things right. Yet, last night, again, without giving up me, my dearest honey Jesus told me to hand my pearl over to Him again....

It is not going to be an easy process to me.....the tempation is there; the dominant part of me of doing things right is there......but He will help me...=)